1
Ann Willis, a.k.a Larry Hunt, was able to start Kindergarten with all the other normal children. Art and Barbara Hunt were so relieved that he could be mainstreamed after all the problems they had with him as a child. His dyslexia was the toughest of all his problems to beat, but miraculously the sleep-teach techniques worked.
They were certain that Larry would end up as an artist. His drawings were all over the house. He preferred drawing over watching television or playing with friends. Barbara used to force him to go outside and play with the other boys and girls, then watch him from the window. He always seemed to prefer playing jump rope or hopscotch rather than baseball or guns. Barbara attributed it to his sensitivity. He was going to make a fine artist indeed!
For a time Barbara worried about Larry’s masculinity, especially seeing him playing the girls’ games so much. But she also noticed that when anyone teased him or picked on him, he was a tough fighter to beat. He handled himself well even against boys two years older. And Kindergarten forced Larry to participate in more masculine activities. There was always a clear separation of boys and girls in the outdoor activities, and Larry learned to throw and catch, wrestle, climb monkey bars, and hide and seek with the best of them.
Kindergarten also played a big role in developing Larry’s independence. His self-confidence improved and he preferred to spend more time with his friends. The only thing that remained unchanged was his passion for drawing. He gradually became a better artist and his parents could recognize the content of more and more of his drawings. He didn’t seem to like showing people his drawings, and he balked if he found anyone looking at them.
Barbara began to look more closely at Larry’s drawings as his talents developed. She had to do it when he was outside with his friends or at school. She also had to be careful not to disturb their order or he knew immediately that she had been looking. One central theme began to dominate his art, and Barbara was concerned. He was obsessed with fire. He drew burning houses, burning trees, fire trucks, fireplaces, barbecue pits and stoves. Barbara estimated that half of his drawings had some connection with fire.
Aside from these few quirks, Larry had turned out to be a normal, healthy child who got along well with others, learned quickly and had a healthy curiosity that got him into his fair share of mischief. He finished Kindergarten and had the Summer off before he was going to start first grade.
.....
In her secret personal world, Ann still knew that Larry existed as a separate entity. She was frustrated by her fruitless efforts to uncover the mystery surrounding the world of Ann. The drawings revealed a lot of clues to her, but she never could find the key that linked it all together. Larry was an encumbrance to Ann. He was a slow thinker with a mixed up brain. He saw everything backwards and she had to correct it all for him. He couldn’t even read without her help. He distracted her constantly from her quest to understand her origins.
There were only two things that she knew for certain about Ann. God and fire figured strongly in Ann’s identity. No matter how hard she tried to figure things out, she couldn’t. She began to blame her lack of success on Larry. She was convinced that it was his impaired brain that held her back from her objective. She searched her memory for clues and found herself lost in Larry’s confused, defective mind.
Nightmares started plaguing Ann when she was six. Images of fire began to haunt her. Sometimes she awoke twice in the same night to these images. She drew pictures to try and evoke the memories from her mind, but had no success. She was gradually losing patience and she felt like a time bomb waiting to go off.
.....
Almost as soon as Larry started first grade, problems began to develop again. He cried at the drop of a hat, and he didn’t want to go to school. At night he repeatedly woke up screaming and refused to talk about it. Barb and Art got nowhere trying to help him themselves, so they decided to call in the therapist that had helped him when he was younger.
2
Miss Toby didn’t usually handle children as old as Larry, but she decided to take the case because of her previous involvement. Her full name was Toby Sinclair, but her young patients usually just called her Miss Toby. She had recently completed her Ph.D. in Psychology, and specialized in toddlers as a rule. She had developed her hypnosis therapy to a point where she was now widely recognized in her field. She had already published one book of case studies and was working on a second.
Larry remembered Miss Toby from earlier years, and allowed her to work with him. That in itself Toby considered to be a good indication, because many children Larry’s age were vehemently opposed to therapy of any sort. They had one initial meeting with Barbara and Art present, and decided to have Larry meet with her two nights a week at her office.
Toby’s initial attempts involved the more conventional techniques of conversational discovery. This yielded nothing, so she turned to very regimented question and answer sessions. Still she got nowhere. By the tenth visit, she arranged for a psychiatrist friend, Doctor Martin Kemper, to come in and assist in hypnosis therapy. She had dug up her old notes on Larry, and she was expecting some bizarre results.
Larry went under at the next session. He was a surprisingly easy subject. Toby began with simple questions.
“Do you know how old you are, Larry?” she began.
“Six.”
“And what’s your whole name?”
“Larry Hunt.”
“Larry, I want you to think about the bad dreams you’ve been having. Can you tell me about them?”
“Ann keeps getting burned in the fire.”
“And who is Ann?”
“Ann Willis.”
She jotted down something in her notebook. “Tell me about the fire.”
“The kitchen stove blew up and I got burned.”
“You got burned,” she repeated. She looked at Doctor Kemper and shrugged. “What’s your name?”
“Ann Willis”
“How old are you, Ann?”
“Fifty-seven.”
“And where do you live, Ann?”
“Indianapolis.”
Toby leaned over and whispered into Martin’s ear, “This came out when he was four. I never explored it too much because I was looking for learning disorders.”
Martin whispered back, “Take it as far as you can, Toby.”
“What year is it, Ann?”
“1976.”
“Where is Larry, Ann.”
“He’s here inside with me.”
“What’s your address, Ann?”
“135 Meadow Road.”
“In what city?” she asked just to be sure.
“Indianapolis, Indiana.”
“Can I talk to Larry again?”
With this, all responses ceased. They asked several more questions, got no replies, and decided to wrap the hypnosis up for this session. Toby told him to wake up without remembering anything about the session.
“Thanks Martin,” she said as he got up to leave. “I’ll talk to you later.”
She turned her attention to Larry. He seemed wide awake and puzzled. He asked, “Did we do it?”
Toby smiled and said, “Yes. How do you feel?”
“Fine,” he answered.
“Did you ever live anywhere else besides Pittsburgh, Larry?”
“No.”
“Did you ever visit any other cities like New York or Indianapolis or Dallas?”
“No.”
She made another note in her book. “I’d like to ask you some questions about school if it’s okay with you.”
“Sure,” he agreed.
“Why don’t you like school?”
He gave her a puzzled look and answered, “I do like school.”
“Then why don’t you want to go?”
Again he looked puzzled. “I do want to go.”
“Your mother and father told me you didn’t want to go to school. Why do you suppose they said that?”
Larry was very uncomfortable now and it showed. He looked at Toby and told her, “I don’t really want to talk about this. Can we talk about something different?”
“Sure we can, Larry. Are you all right?”
“Yeah, I’m okay.”
As casually as she could, she slipped her question in. “I suppose we don’t have to talk about school any more today. It’s Ann that doesn’t want to talk about it, isn’t it?”
Larry’s face froze in fright. “You know about Ann?” he asked.
“Not very much. Do you want to tell me about her?”
Larry looked down at the floor and his eyes were darting every which way. Toby could sense the turmoil going on within him. She rescued him as soon as she saw it. “Larry, we don’t have to talk about this now. If it makes you uncomfortable, we can talk about something else.”
Larry began to cry and his face turned red with embarrassment. Toby carefully studied his every move. She was searching for any sign of internal conflict.
“Larry,” she suggested, “Why don’t we stop here for now and continue next session?”
He seemed quite relieved. “Sure, Miss Toby.” He took a tissue from the box in the office and wiped his eyes. Then he looked directly into Toby’s eyes and asked, “This stuff is all just between you and me, isn’t it?”
Toby nodded to him and assured him, “Nothing leaves this room unless you want it to.”
He seemed comforted by her statement. He smiled at her and they walked out of the office together. Barbara was in the waiting area and stood up as they came out of the office.
“How did we do tonight?” she asked them.
Toby seized the opportunity to build up some trust. “Just fine, Barbara,” she said, “but it’s up to Larry what he wants to discuss with you. That’s our deal, right?”
Barbara acknowledged, “Absolutely!”
.....
Ann had a lot to think about. Miss Toby knew about her. It had to be from the hypnosis. She was frightened about the idea of others finding out about her, but she wasn’t really sure why. She wondered if she could really trust Miss Toby. The hypnosis might be the only way for Ann to solve her mystery.
She debated with herself the remainder of the night. She woke up in the middle of the night from the same old nightmare, and she decided that instant she would put her trust in Miss Toby. There was a sense of relief that overcame her that very moment.
.....
At the next session, Larry seemed all energetic and excited. Toby was glad to see this, because she had wondered whether or not he would really trust her. There were conflicts that had to be brought to the surface, and Toby was sure that the hypnosis was the way to get at them.
Doctor Kemper arrived a few minutes late, and that gave Toby an opportunity to confirm that Larry trusted her and had no problem doing more hypnosis. Toby put Larry under only minutes after Doctor Kemper arrived.
“What’s your name?” she began.
“Larry Hunt.”
“I’d like to speak to Ann Willis. Are you there, Ann?”
“Yes.”
Toby gave a thumbs-up sign to Martin Kemper. “Hello, Ann. How old are you?”
“Fifty-seven.”
Toby gave Martin the thumbs-up sign again, confirming that they were right back where they left off last session. “Are you married, Ann?”
“Yes.”
“What’s your husband’s name?”
“Ted.”
“What’s the date, Ann?”
“December 2, 1976.”
“What are you doing, Ann?”
“Cooking stew.”
“Where are you now?”
“I’m in the kitchen.”
“Tell me all about the stew, Ann.”
“I’m making dinner for Ted. He’ll be home soon.”
“I want you to think ahead, Ann. Think about Ted. He’s coming home. He’s coming in the door. Do you see him, Ann?”
Larry was totally silent. Toby repeated the question, but he still didn’t answer.
“Okay, Ann. Let’s go back to the cooking, before Ted gets home. You said you were cooking stew. Do you like stew?”
“No. Ted likes it.”
“Think ahead just a tiny little bit, but still before Ted comes home. What are you doing now?”
“Cooking.”
Toby sensed that something was wrong. She had an idea. “Did something happen to Ted?”
“No.”
“Ann, try very hard to think about the time before Ted comes home. You’re cooking the stew. Then what happens?”
Larry gave no response. Toby tried to get back to the previous point, but she couldn’t. She decided to stop for the day. She brought him out of the hypnosis and again said good-bye to Martin. She then continued with Larry.
“How do you feel?”
“I’m fine, Miss Toby. Did you talk to Ann again?”
“Yes,” she answered a bit surprised.
“What did you find out?”
“Not very much. Ann is fifty-seven years old and is married to Ted. They live in Indianapolis. Do you have an Aunt or know anyone like that in Indianapolis?”
“No,” he answered truthfully. “What else did you find out?”
“Nothing much more, Larry. She cooks stew. Do you like stew?”
“I don’t know what that is, Miss Toby.”
“Well maybe we can find out some more next time. Right now I’d like to talk a little about when you were younger.”
The rest of the session was routine. Toby accumulated some data on the two-plus years since she had last treated Larry. When they were ready to end the session, Larry was full of questions.
“Will I get hypnotized next time, Miss Toby?”
“Probably. Would you like that?”
“Yes. I want to know about this Ann. I feel like I know her somehow.” That was all he was willing to reveal for now.
.....
That night Ann awoke from the same nightmare. But this time she didn’t go right back to sleep. She quietly turned on the light in her room and went through the drawings she had done most recently. Afterward, she dug through her drawings from years back until she found the ones of Ted, the four children and the seven grandchildren. She couldn’t seem to take her eyes from these drawings. She again thought about the strange connections with Barbie dolls.
None of it made sense. Then she thought about Miss Toby. She focused on the one question that had seemed so peculiar; New York, Indianapolis and Dallas? Indianapolis! What did she know about Indianapolis?
She was tired. She turned off the light and lay in bed thinking about Indianapolis. It was beginning to seem like such a familiar place. She tried to remember if she had seen something on television about Indianapolis. She thought about Indiana, then she realized that nobody had mentioned Indiana to her. But she somehow knew that Indianapolis and Indiana were connected. She had to concentrate on Indianapolis. She knew it was important. She said the name over and over again to herself until she fell asleep.
.....
In the morning, Ann awoke in a cold sweat. She looked out the window and the scenery wasn’t familiar. Then she realized that what she was expecting to see was Indianapolis. She thought to herself that she had lived there. And she knew that it was Indianapolis, Indiana. She smiled. She felt like she might soon know the truth about Ann. All she could think about was how many days it was before her next session.
3
The floodgates broke the very next night. Ann awoke in the middle of the night and understood everything. It was the most incredible feeling she had ever experienced. She was overwhelmed with joy and scared to death at the same time. She was so excited that she wanted to wake her mother and father up immediately. But something inside her told her that wouldn’t be a good idea. She had to think this out.
She spent the next several hours remembering, interpreting and sequencing events in her mind. She walked herself through her own death, the processing, the rebirth, and all the conscious separation of Larry’s and her thoughts. She realized how much work she still had to do to figure out how to deal with everything. But she knew what she had to do for the time being.
She fell asleep for the first time in her recent past without fearing another nightmare. She awoke feeling refreshed and confident. She smelled bacon cooking. She went down to have breakfast with her family.
.....
Barbara and Art were running around making bacon and eggs. Brad was probably still upstairs sleeping. Barbara looked over and smiled.
“Good morning, Larry. You sure are up early. Are you hungry?”
“Yes, Mom. Good morning, Dad.”
Art was beating some eggs. “Hi, Larry. I’ll throw another egg in for you.”
Larry smiled his approval. He sat down and waited until the meal was served and everyone was starting to eat.
“I have something to say to you both,” he announced. “I won’t need to go see Miss Toby anymore.”
“Why’s that?” Barbara asked.
“Because I’ll be fine in school and I won’t have bad dreams all the time.” He studied their faces for a reaction. “It’s like a miracle happened. I just know I’ll be okay.”
“That sounds just wonderful,” Barbara said. “But how about if we see Toby just a time or two more. I think it’s important that she knows just how much you’ve progressed.”
Larry’s face had the look of an adult. He nodded a few times and said, “Sure. That sounds like a great idea, Mom.”
.....
It was like another child had mysteriously taken over their son’s body. He went to school without any griping, came home and played with the other children, and he even started to get along with his older brother, Brad. The next session with Toby was coming up. Barbara and Art were anxious to see what Toby thought.
The most profound change in Larry was his overall demeanor. He was affectionate beyond belief. He hugged and kissed his parents every chance he got. It certainly was a welcome change and they didn’t have any complaints, but they thought it was too good to be true.
.....
Larry sat in the office with Miss Toby and Doctor Kemper. He began the session with the announcement, “I really don’t want to do hypnosis any more, Miss Toby.”
The statement surprised her. “But I thought you wanted to find out all about Ann,” she argued.
“Not any more. I changed my mind. I remembered where that Ann stuff came from,” he lied. “It was from a book I had when I was little.”
“Oh, I see,” Toby said. “Then I guess we won’t be needing Doctor Kemper today.” She gestured for him to go. “What should we work on today then, Larry? How about we talk about school?”
Instead of answering her question, Larry asked her one of his own. “You said that whatever happens in here is between you and me. Is that really true?”
“Absolutely, Larry. That’s the way I take these cases and that’s what I make the parents agree to also.”
“Then I don’t want to come here for therapy again. And I don’t want you to tell Mom and Dad anything about Ann. Is that okay?”
This was going to be difficult for Toby to handle. “I promise I won’t tell your mother and father anything at all about Ann or any other specifics of our sessions. But I will talk to them about your coming back. I have to do that. Even if you don’t want to come, I have to recommend to them that you should. Do you understand that?”
“Not exactly. If I don’t want to come, how can they make me? How can you make me?”
Toby told him the simple truth. “We can’t make you, Larry. That could only happen in a hospital under a judge’s order.”
“What does that mean?” he asked cautiously.
“Nothing important,” she confessed. “I’ll just have a brief talk with your mother for right now, and we’ll see what happens. But whatever you decide, I want you to know that we’re friends and that I will keep everything between you and me. Fair enough?”
“Okay.”
Larry waited outside the office while Barbara met with Toby. They were in there for almost a half hour, and Larry was squirming in anticipation of what would happen. When Barbara came out, she had a smile on her face. She walked over to Larry and said, “I guess we can go now, honey.”
.....
On the way home Barbara asked Larry, “How do you feel?”
“Okay, I guess. What did you and Miss Toby talk about in there?”
Barbara said, “Miss Toby just wonders if you’ll be all right in the long run. She says you seem to be doing just great right now, but sometimes there are setbacks.”
“What does that mean, Mom?”
“I suppose it just means that we can stop seeing her for the time being. If you have any more bad times or nightmares, we can always go back to see her again.”
“Did she say anything about Ann?” Larry dared ask.
“No. Ann who?”
“Oh, it’s nobody. Just some story she told me. Does this mean I don’t have to go back ever again?” he asked excitedly.
“We’ll see, dear. That will just depend on how well you do from here on out.”
“I’ll do just fine, I promise!”
Barbara laughed to herself at that remark. She wondered just how much Larry must dislike Miss Toby. Moreover, she wondered why.
.....
Ann was on cloud nine. She had succeeded in catching things just in the nick of time. She knew that it wouldn’t do for anyone else to know about her reincarnation secret. With Miss Toby out of the picture, and her parents happy, she could now set about the business of digesting all of the wonderful things she now remembered.
The whole issue of reincarnation intrigued her. She thought about her previous life and all the sadness associated with it. She knew she had once given up her dreams. She blamed it then on the simple fact that she was a woman. With all the determination that she could muster, she decided that God had given her a second chance to fulfill her dreams. She was going to be a teacher for certain this time. There was nothing to stop her. She was going to have the opportunity to live life the way she always secretly wanted; as a man.
Strange thoughts went through her about her former family. She briefly considered attempting to contact them, but she dismissed these thoughts almost immediately. It would ruin their lives, probably ruin hers, and certainly go against God’s will. In time she actually hoped to forget about them and lose herself in her new life. No! Lose himself in his new life. She had to remember from now on that it was Larry Hunt’s life. Ann Willis could no longer exist.
That night Larry Hunt lay in bed trying to envision himself as a man. He knew he would have to work very hard on this issue of gender. He realized that he had always envisioned himself as female throughout his brief life. That would have to change, or things would certainly be tough on him. He felt sleep coming and he welcomed it. Then, as he drifted off, his last adult-like thought hit him. How could he ever go out with girls?
4
At the end of January 1984, Toby Sinclair was cleaning up her notes for her new book. She came across the files on Larry Hunt and she wondered how he was doing. She hadn’t seen him for almost three months. She really expected to see him back within a month to six weeks, but perhaps she had him pegged wrong after all. As she thumbed through the files, she thought to herself what a strange case it had been.
She read through the notes of his four-year-old treatments. Then she studied the latest notes. She had the strangest feeling about the case. She always attributed the Ann Willis creation to a personality disorder. She knew that Larry had lied to her about it in the end, but she felt that it was his way of handling some kind of shame associated with this female portion of his Psyche.
She decided she would include this case in her book. It would be part of the section on multiple personality disorders. She would change around enough of the details to allow her to include it without a release, but her intuition told her something about the case that made her uncomfortable.
Today she felt a certain curiosity that she hadn’t felt before. There were so many details in the notes that it almost seemed possible that this Ann Willis person might actually exist. If she did, she might be a relative or an acquaintance. If that were true, it wouldn’t be appropriate to include it in the intended section of the book. Toby decided that she should check it out just in case, but she had to be careful not to commit a breach of ethics. What she decided to do was first find out if this person really existed. If she did exist, Toby could simply ask very general questions to determine if there was any connection to anyone in the Pittsburgh area. It all seemed innocent enough.
She spread her notes out in front of her and dialed the phone. “Yes, operator, for Indianapolis,” she said. “Do you have a listing for a Willis at 135 Meadow Road?” There was a pause. “That would be for a Ted or a Theodore or an Ann.....Yes W-I-L-L-I-S......Oh, thank you very much.” She wrote the number down and hung up the phone. She felt frightened.
“Oh, well! Here goes nothing,” she said out loud as she picked up the phone and dialed.
“You’ve reached the phone of Ted Willis,” the message began. “Please leave your name, number and....” She slammed the handset down on the phone. She wasn’t prepared to leave a message. She needed to think about this some more.
Later that day she decided how she could leave a message that Ted or Ann might return without too much suspicion. She dialed and waited for the machine to answer. When it did, she left her name and number and said a friend gave her their name and she had a question for them. She said it would be fine if they wanted to call back collect. She hung up and let out a sigh of relief.
She had completely forgotten about it when her phone rang a few hours later.
She answered routinely, “Toby here.” It was a collect call from a Mr. Ted Willis. “Yes, operator, I’ll accept the charges.”
“Hello,” Ted said.
“Hi, Ted. I hate to bother you, but I kind of lied a little to encourage you to call me back. There’s no mutual friend. I was doing some research work and I came across something that mentioned a Mrs. Ann Willis. I called information and they gave me your number. Is there an Ann Willis there?”
“What kind of research work, and where did you see the name Ann?” Ted asked her.
“Just some old letters to someone named Phyllis,” Toby lied. “I’m a psychologist and I came across these letters in an unmarked shoe box while I was doing some research for a book I’m writing. I figured maybe Ann knows something about this Phyllis. Is she there?” She crossed her fingers and hoped he’d buy it.
“Well, Toby, there used to be an Ann here. When were those letters dated?”
“Oh, let me see.” She scrambled through the notes and said, “They’re from 1976.”
“I see,” he replied. “Well, Ann Willis was my wife. She died in December of 1976.”
“Oh, I’m terribly sorry, Ted.”
“Thank you,” he said, “but it was a long time ago.”
“I hate to stir up any unpleasant memories for you, but could you maybe tell me if Ann or you knew anyone in the Pittsburgh area?”
“Not that I’m aware of,” he answered. “Someone named Phyllis? No, I don’t think so.”
She took a daring and unethical chance. “How about a family named Hunt. Do you know any Hunts in the Pittsburgh area?”
“No, Toby. I’m afraid I can’t help you.”
“Well thank you very much for calling me back, Mr. Willis.” Now she took one final chance. “I guess I’ll never know if it was the same Ann. By the way, if it’s not too personal, may I ask how Ann died?”
“It was in a natural gas explosion in our home, Toby. A terrible freak accident.”
“Oh, again I’m very sorry. Thank you very much for your time. Good night.”
She heard him hang up and she followed suit. Goose bumps covered her from head to toe. She spoke aloud, “How in all hell does Larry Hunt know about Ann Willis?”
She debated about speaking to the Hunts about this. She was torn between her own doctor-patient privacy policy and holding back what might be a crucial piece of the puzzle in getting to the heart of Larry Hunt’s torment. The fire was the eeriest thing of all. The more Toby thought about it, the more confused she became.
She wished she could get him back into therapy. That would be the cleanest way to resolve her ethics problem.
