1
Joan Spencer found herself back in the blackness of death. She was thinking of her mother, Kim. She hoped that Kim wouldn’t blame herself for the death of her daughter. The way Joan had killed herself was probably very gory, but it was the best way she could think of, especially given her small size and lack of control over her three-year-old world. And Joan knew from the past that a violent accident worked well. She only hoped that Kim would be able to get over the tragedy without too much pain.
She knew that she couldn’t waste any more time dwelling on the past. She had to get on with her special mission. She looked all around her and found everything exactly as she remembered it. The form of her body caught her off guard though. She didn’t expect it to be that of a small child, but in retrospect it made perfect sense. She still gave off the white glow and her body had no substance, just as she remembered.
As she looked about, she tried to remember the exact way she had been carried to the cell. This time she searched more carefully for any sign of the great light that had carried her off. Everything had caught her off guard last time, and now she wanted to know more about the whole process. She looked all around but found nothingness. She supposed that she could experiment more with her own form, but she decided that it just wasn’t important.
She thought for a moment, and then remembered what she had done the last time through. She concentrated on her image of God, and she mouthed the words, “Thy will be done.” She felt the light before she saw it. It was coming from directly in front of her. It was a pinpoint one moment, and a blinding brilliant sun the next. As the light encompassed her soul, she felt the whirling and acceleration that she had forgotten about. She tried to stare through the brilliance to try and see if anything was passing her by, but the light was just too intense. The journey seemed to take much longer this time. Perhaps that was because she knew what was happening. Her logic told her that things must be the same this time as last, although she had no real reason to believe that.
When the sensation of movement finally stopped, the light seemed to take much longer to diminish. As images finally began forming, they were different than Joan expected. The cell was much larger and there were no others around it. She noticed two others in the cell with her, and they were gigantic. Then it all came to her quite suddenly. Nothing was different from what she remembered, except her own size. She was too small to see over the edge of the cell this time. That’s why she couldn’t see the surrounding cells. And the other souls in here with her were adults while she was only a small child. That’s why they seemed so big to her.
With the first part of her journey under her belt, Joan thought briefly about what she would have to do when she left the cell for the processing chamber. She also began to wonder how much earth-time would elapse before she got to the chamber. She was concerned with how old the others would be. She had calculated that the original journey had taken eight months from death to birth, but she had no idea of how long each segment of the journey took. And for all she knew it might take a hundred years this time before she saw a Processor. She could only hope that things would happen quickly this time.
She decided not to take anything for granted this time through. She immediately concentrated on sending a telepathic message to anyone that might hear. She sent out her simple message over and over again. Help, Processors. I have important news.
Nothing happened. She resigned herself to the fact that she would simply have to wait. She decided to study the other souls in the cell. They were both looking at her. Probably they were wondering about her size. Did they realize she was a child? She waved at them. They both seemed surprised. They looked at one another. Then they both followed suit and waved back to her. She tried to read their thoughts but she had no success. Then she decided that it was probably not a good idea to make thought-contact anyway. She had to focus on the very reason for this journey, and she dare not let any other soul in this place know what she knew.
She decided to look away from them, somehow convinced that this would assure that they couldn’t telepathically read her. There was not much left to do but wait for the cell to fill up. She figured she might as well go over in her mind all the things she would say to the Processor. She wondered what the Processor’s reaction would be.
For the first time, she had doubts about her mission. What if nobody cared? What if they just ignored her and erased her memory for a new life? What would happen if one of the other five figured out the power that their knowledge gave them? What if they decided to use that power for evil? If they cleansed her without listening, nobody else in the world could ever stop such a person. If she were cleansed, not even she would ever get a second chance.
The thoughts were too negative. It was counter-productive to continue them. She directed her efforts to rehearsing the things she would say to the Processor.
The flash of light just next to her caught her by surprise. It shouldn’t have because she had been somewhat impatiently waiting for it. But she had been so engrossed in her thoughts about the Processor that she forgot all about the world around her. She looked at the new soul and detected a faint look of surprise in its eyes. It looked around and assessed everything, just as she had seen others do her first time through here as Joan Spencer.
.....And now there were four.
2
Joan tried to concentrate on her mission, but curiosity got the best of her. She felt compelled to study the reactions of the new soul next to her. She saw that it was also a female. She realized she hadn’t noticed the gender of the original two. She glanced over at them long enough to ascertain that they were both males, and quite large by her perception. They looked remarkably similar to one another. She wondered if they had perhaps both been construction workers caught in an accident or something like that. Turning back to the new soul, she followed its eyes as it explored. She tried to picture what it was thinking as it looked from place to place. It became like a game to Joan. She thought that she could detect the point that it must have just deduced what the red flashes were. Joan, of course, was too short to see the flashes over the edge of the cell, but she knew they were out there. Then the female soul looked over to Joan and their eyes met. Joan wanted to look away immediately, but something held her eyes locked on the other soul’s eyes. She thought to herself that this new soul was probably feeling sorry for her because she saw her as a child.
“No, that’s not it,” she heard it say.
What? Joan actually felt a moment of panic in this otherwise emotionless world. Did this soul communicate? She was shocked, and she tried to make contact despite her better judgment. “Can you hear me?” she mentally asked.
“Yes,” came the immediate response. “Where are we?”
“I don’t know,” Joan lied. She was actually afraid this female soul might read her mind. In near panic, Joan turned away from the soul hoping that it could not probe her mind. She decided that she’d better think of nothing at all to do with her mission. The only thing she could think of was to sing to herself. She felt the female trying to speak, but it was a very weak sound. Joan concentrated on a song. She doesn’t know! I mustn’t let her know! Then she sang a little lullaby to herself that Aunt Sarah had taught her....
Little baby love,
Precious little dove,
Don’t you weep,
Now go to sleep.
She repeated it over and over for what seemed like thousands of times. The whole time she tried as hard as she could not to think about the mission. It was getting increasingly difficult. Then she was rescued. The flash once again caught her by surprise. Instantly she saw the new female figure appear, and she could also simultaneously feel the other female’s attention turn from her to the new one.
She stopped her thought-singing. She listened. Nothing! The talking-hearing one was completely engrossed in the new figure; the fifth figure. Joan knew that it was only a matter of time before the final white flash and the red glow that would carry them to the Processor. She strengthened her resolve not to take a chance on leaking her knowledge to any of the others. She started mentally reciting poems and stories and songs she had learned from Sarah and Mama.
It seemed like an eternity before the final white flash came. She was so relieved that she almost could swear she heard herself let out a sigh. Then only a moment later, the rumbling began. She had forgotten about the rumbling. It shook them like an explosion, and the red glow intensified all around them. This time she was aware of a loud screaming sound along with the glow. She didn’t remember that from the last time through. Was it just the keener hearing of a young child?
A moment later it was all over. They were in the chamber and there in front stood the red-robed Processor. She had made it this far. Thank God!
3
She was sitting second from the right this time. Her legs were so short that her feet didn’t touch the ground. She had a sudden thought that maybe she wouldn’t be able to do what she planned. The black hole seemed much larger than she expected. And even with her knowledge, she still felt extremely afraid of it. She could certainly understand why it was unguarded. Nobody would want to wander over to it on their own. It was as sinister as anything she could ever remember seeing. She even had doubts whether she herself could go through it if she wanted to, even knowing that she had done so before.
But she had to pay attention to her mission. Nothing else mattered. She took an imaginary deep breath and pushed herself out of the chair. The Processor’s mental voice penetrated her little body. “Stop right there!” He sprang to her side, and seeing how small she was, leaned over to assist her back into her seat.
“No!” she said as loudly as her thoughts could talk. “I have been here before, and I came back willingly to warn you of something terrible that has happened.”
The Processor was positively shocked. His immediate reaction to this preposterous claim was to back away. He looked down at Joan with horror in his eyes. Then he paused as if he were trying to figure out what to do. A moment later, he raised his hands over his head, looked up and appeared to mouth words that Joan could not hear. Within seconds, a second robed figure appeared beside him. They looked at each other for what felt like several seconds, then the new figure looked down at Joan. She was terrified. Then she heard the new figure utter one single word. “Away!”
Everything rumbled again, and Joan found herself again engulfed in red light. She looked around at the others in the chamber and they suddenly disappeared; all except the new one.
.....
She was in a chamber like the one she just left. There was no void in this chamber, but a raised platform with three seats instead. She was seated in the right hand seat of the three, again with her feet dangling away from the floor. Directly in front of her were six seats just like the ones in the chamber she just left. Seated beside her in the center seat was the new robed Processor. She was too frightened to do anything at all.
She turned to her left and looked straight into the eyes of this Processor and he looked directly back at her. She thought she could feel him reaching into her mind somehow, but she wasn’t certain. He thought-spoke first.
“I am Zoron the Wise. And just who might you be?”
She spoke without a moment’s hesitation, “I am Joan Spencer.”
“Are you not Paula Austin?” came the voice so loud and enraged that it almost knocked her off the seat.
“Yes, I’m Paula too,” was all that she could muster. She wanted to say more, but she was literally scared speechless.
“Fear me not, child,” Zoron ordered. “Tell me what it is that has brought you here.”
Joan sensed that Zoron could read her mind, but she was too afraid to ask him. He was clearly in charge of this session, and she was absolutely determined not to enrage him again. She started her story. “I was through here once before, and Oren was going to process us.” She saw by the way he changed expression that Zoron’s interest was piqued. “And Oren told us all about what God wanted us to know. He let us ask questions and he answered them. But when it was time to cleanse us, Oren just keeled over. Then all six of us went down the void without being cleansed.” She was shaking as she spoke. “Well, I just wanted to know if anyone knew what happened. I was scared that we disobeyed God’s will, and.... Well is Oren okay?”
“Oren is of no concern to you,” answered Zoron so coldly that it gave Joan a chill.
“Well, I just thought that if nobody knew, then terrible things might happen on earth,” she said warily, wondering if Zoron might catch her implication.
“And you thought that God would not know of this happening?” he asked almost in the form of a criticism.
That answered that! Joan was quite certain that he understood her implications. Then, as boldly as she could under the circumstances, she spoke her fears out loud. “I was afraid that if Oren could die, then that might mean that God wasn’t perfect. And if God wasn’t perfect I thought there were things that God might not know. And if God didn’t know about this, then....well I was afraid that one of the six might use the knowledge he had to destroy the natural order that God intended.” She prepared herself for the worst tongue-lashing she had ever had.
Zoron was touched. Instead of yelling, he asked, “And you sacrificed your life just in case God didn’t know? Were you not afraid to challenge God in such a manner? Were you not afraid to even speak the thought of such a notion?”
“Yes, I was. And I didn’t just do it on the spur of the moment. I may be wrong....No, I hope I’m wrong! But it was such an overwhelmingly evil thing that the others and I did, that I feared the others might take it further. As for me, I’ll trust in God to deal with me as He chooses. I did wrong and I’m willing to face up to it.”
Zoron was pleased. “And you yourself could have used this knowledge, also. Could you not have used it for the good of mankind?”
Joan was scared again. She didn’t know how far to go with this, but she decided to go for broke. “Zoron, I believe that I would truly have used this knowledge benignly. But that is beside the point. God had a purpose in cleansing us. I have to believe that God’s purpose is holy. While I may not believe that God is perfect, I do believe He is totally good and pure, and that He is the most perfect thing in the whole universe.”
Zoron was again pleased. “You came back knowing that you would forever give up that special knowledge that only God and the Processors know?”
“No, Zoron. That’s not correct. It is the special knowledge that five others also know.”
Zoron was indeed pleased. He looked deep inside of her with his mind. He saw that she was truthful. And he saw that she was as pure as anything he had ever known. He asked, “And were you not first through the void?”
Joan wondered what Zoron was getting at. “No, Zoron. I was actually last to go through. The others went and I remained for a brief instant. In my heart I knew what they were doing was wrong. But I decided to go anyway. I gave in to temptation, and that was weak of me.”
“And the others also gave in to this temptation,” added Zoron. “Why do you think they did so?”
Joan thought about this question for a while. Then she felt she had an answer. “One soul led the way. Just the sight of him leaping into the void was enough to create the temptation. I don’t know why the first one decided to do it.”
“And how do you suppose this knowledge might be used for evil?” asked Zoron.
“I don’t really know for certain. But I haven’t given it much thought.”
At this point Zoron looked again into Joan’s mind. He convinced himself she was indeed quite a remarkable soul. “You have done well to return, Joan Spencer. I am quite impressed by your wisdom and your trust in God. But did you not fear that suicide might displease God?”
“I knew suicide was wrong. But there were such extenuating circumstances that....”
Zoron interrupted her by adding, “My question was unfair, my child. You have done what you have done, and your intentions were noble. Now I must summon others here to decide what is to be done. You shall remain here by my side. Do not be afraid, child. You are among friends. But I must prepare you so that you are not confused. There are things that you must not know, and I will control what you can and cannot hear. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Zoron. I will try not to be afraid, but I can’t promise.”
With that, Zoron turned his head forward and touched his hands to his forehead.
4
The six other robed figures appeared almost instantly, each seated in one of the six seats opposite Zoron. They all stared directly at Joan and she was scared, regardless of Zoron’s advice. Zoron extended his arms and began. “Oh, great Deciders, we are met to contemplate yet another matter of concern.” Joan could hear everything, and she was indeed frightened. Zoron continued, “As Brother Oren did cease to walk among us, so too has a breach occurred. Sitting here among us is one of six that bears witness to that breach.” Zoron turned to Joan and said, “My child, you shall not hear the words about to be spoken. Fear not.” Joan nodded.
Zoron turned back to face the Deciders. “With the passing of Oren, God chose to create a replacement. As the High Council directed me, I asked God to decide on the matter of a breach. And God said unto me that mankind shall determine his own destiny in this matter as well as all matters. Only man can make the breach, and only man can right it.” Zoron paused before continuing. He studied the faces of the Deciders. “It is clear that man has come before us to right that breach.”
Bokar spoke next. “Oh, wise Zoron, one of six is returned. There now are only five. But in what manner has this little one beside you returned?”
“This child is pure of heart. Of her own free will she has returned for the purpose of alerting the Processors about the breach.” Zoron decided to say no more than he had to.
Bokar asked, “Oh, wise Zoron, are we to assume that this child understands the true significance of a breach?”
Zoron nodded his head as he said, “I have spoken with this child and looked inside her heart. She is of remarkable mind, and she indeed understands the grave consequences that the breach might cause. Yes, Brother Darma, what have you to share with us?”
Darma commented, “Oh, wise Zoron, is it not likely that there is only one of these six capable of such an understanding? And is it not enough that this one is returned for cleansing?”
Tomak added, “Oh, wise Zoron, should you not ask God what should be done?”
“No,” Zoron quickly responded. “God has already spoken on this matter. It is forbidden that we ask again. God’s word is that only man can right the breach. It is clear to me that this child is here in an effort to right the breach. What then shall be the Council’s part in executing God’s will? To return to your question, Darma, this Council must surely address the likelihood of the other five being able to understand the true nature of their power.”
Lorus asked, “Oh, wise Zoron, shall we consider sending back this pure soul without cleansing? God’s word is not then violated.”
Arlen was quick to add, “Oh, wise Zoron, this indeed would be a violation of God’s word. God has required that we not send forth any souls uncleansed.”
Zoron was pleased with his High Council. He decided to throw something else out for consideration. “But another paradox exists, does it not? For we have already sent forth six such uncleansed souls. Are we to treat a returned uncleansed soul in the same manner as any other soul? Or is this returned uncleansed soul acting consistently with God’s divine plan? If we return this soul uncleansed, will it not be within mankind’s power to right the breach?”
Jonah had heard enough. It was his turn to speak. “Oh, wise Zoron, the business of this High Council is quite clear. We must decide the matter only after hearing for ourselves the words of this returned soul. Only then can we trust ourselves to have sufficient knowledge to understand how we must implement the will of God.”
Zoron was delighted. “I choose at this point to agree with Brother Jonah. I shall make this soul as one of us for the matter before us.” He turned to Joan and said, “You shall now be able to communicate with the members of this High Council.” He turned to face the others and added, “As introduction, this mortal soul is known as Joan Spencer. The High Council members are Brothers Arlen, Tomak, Bokar, Darma, Lorus and Jonah. I will allow the Council to directly address this soul, and allow this soul to be heard directly by the Council.
Joan simply nodded her head as the High Council was introduced. She waited for the first one to speak.
Bokar began. “How did you come to leave here uncleansed?”
Joan answered, “Oren died or something just before we were going to be cleansed. We just jumped into the void on our own.”
Arlen continued on this point. “Why did you return?”
Joan told it for the second time. “I was aware that I had done wrong. I violated the will of God. But most of all, I returned to warn everyone in case they didn’t know about the six of us. I felt afraid that they might use their knowledge for evil purposes.”
“And what do you expect will happen to you now?” asked Darma.
“I don’t know. I guess I’ll get cleansed and sent out again. At least I hope that’s what you do with me.” Joan looked over to Zoron. He nodded his approval.
Lorus was next. “How much of your previous life do you remember?”
Joan wasn’t sure which previous life he was asking about, so she answered, “I remember a little about Paula Austin, but I remember everything about Joan Spencer.”
“May I ask you a short series of questions?” Arlen inquired. “When did you remember about Joan Spencer?”
“Probably not much before Paula Austin was two years old. Just dribs and drabs from the beginning, but it all came kind of suddenly at age two.”
“And what triggered these memories?” continued Arlen.
“It was when I saw a woman that looked like me.....like Joan Spencer used to look. It all came together at that point.”
Arlen asked, “What do you think should be done about the others?”
Joan was surprised by that question. She thought for a moment before answering. “It’s not my place to say, but I guess that I’d expect God to pull them back or something. I mean, I did my part in bringing it to your attention. The rest is up to you and God, isn’t it?”
Jonah saw where this was leading, and he wanted to intervene. “Joan, I am Jonah, in case you didn’t catch my name before. Please don’t get upset with all these questions, but I would like to know if you would trust us to convey to you the will of God.”
“Well, I guess so. I mean there’s no reason for me not to trust you. I’m afraid I don’t...”
Jonah interrupted, “Would you be willing to return uncleansed one more time if God so desired?”
“Oh, yes! I would do whatever God wanted of me.” She was a bit afraid. “But why would God want me returned like that?”
“I’m not saying that He does,” Jonah answered. “God may perhaps speak to you through Zoron. If He does, will you follow his instructions?”
Joan thought this one over carefully. She wondered what Jonah was getting at. Then she decided that she came here of her own free will, and that she had nobody else to trust. “I will do whatever is asked of me.”
Jonah was certain that Zoron would now end the questioning. Jonah was always the last to speak out on issues. But this time, Zoron did not follow suit. To Jonah’s surprise Zoron allowed other questions.
Lorus was himself reluctant to ask a question after Jonah had spoken, but since Zoron hadn’t stopped the questions, he boldly continued. “Did you always believe in God?”
“No, to tell you the truth,” Joan shamefully admitted. “I didn’t believe for sure until I died and came here. It wasn’t until Oren explained everything to us that I knew for certain God existed.”
“And did Paula Austin believe in God?” continued Lorus. “No, please disregard that question. Let me ask it differently. Let us presume for a moment that you were sent back uncleansed with instructions from God. After your rebirth, how long might it take before you remembered those instructions?”
Joan understood what he was asking. “I don’t know for certain. But based on the life of Paula Austin, I would guess two or three years at the most. From the very beginning as Paula Austin, I knew I was Joan. I never gave up trying to figure out who Joan was. It was just a matter of time. And I know in my heart that it would be the same if there was a next time.”
Zoron now spoke. “That is all the questioning I shall allow for the time being. Joan, again you will not hear the words that will be spoken. Do you understand?”
Joan turned to Zoron. “Yes, I understand.”
5
The High Council now had to decide on a course of action. The questioning of Joan Spencer was finished, and it was going to be up to them to decide an issue that could have incredible impact on the future of mankind. They were all aware of the critical nature of what was before them.
Zoron started things off. “Oh, great Deciders, you have seen for yourselves the evidence before this High Council. I have already stated my own opinion of this mortal soul at my side. You must each now decide for yourselves how, if at all, this soul shall figure in the problem before us. We know that there has been a breach of six. We know nothing of the five remaining. And, we know that at least one among them was capable of understanding the power that they wielded.
“It is now up to this High Council to determine how we should carry out the will of God. This question before us is one of grave concern, but I remind you that God created this High Council just for such contingencies. The subject is now open for discussion.”
Bokar began. “Oh, wise Zoron, for certain this mortal soul before us has unprecedented knowledge; knowledge even beyond that of the other five. For this soul is aware of having made the journey twice, and is also aware of the existence of Zoron and this High Council. This soul has indeed tasted of the fruit of the tree of life.”
Zoron nodded in agreement. “There is certainly no doubt of that fact, Brother Bokar.” He saw that Arlen was disturbed. “Brother Arlen, what say you on this matter?”
Arlen shook his head and said, “There is something that is eluding us. God desires that man be the controller of his own destiny. And a mortal soul of man now sits among us by choice; man’s choice. I see no reason to intervene in God’s design at all. God has said unto you that only man can make the breach and only man can right it. Man has delivered us one of the offenders. It is only for us to process this soul. Man will control his own destiny with regard to the other five. Perhaps they will also deliver themselves to us. It seems clear to me that our only choice is to allow things to work themselves out without any intervention from us.”
Zoron found this very interesting. He looked around at the others. They were genuinely moved by Arlen’s words.
Lorus raised a hand to capture the floor. “Oh, wise Zoron, I believe that Brother Arlen has spoken a profound truth. I understand from your previous words that you believe this soul is here in an effort of mankind to right the breach. That may be so, but as I understand God’s word, He does not sanction us to intervene. Our mandate is to process this soul as all others.”
Zoron was disturbed. He felt disappointed in the High Council, but he knew he must appear impartial. Their purpose was to guide Zoron in such matters. Nobody else appeared to have anything to say. From habit, Zoron turned to Jonah and asked, “And what sayeth you on the matter, Brother Jonah?”
Jonah was very troubled. He conveyed his concern to Zoron by crossing both arms on his chest while he spoke. He knew the others would be watching Zoron, and would not see his signal. “Oh, wise Zoron, I believe the matter is decided.” Jonah dropped his arms to his side after he was sure that Zoron noticed.
Zoron then said, “How sayeth the Council on the matter of no intervention?”
There was unanimous consent. Zoron stood and addressed the Council as they simultaneously stood up. “Oh, great Deciders, we are met again, and we are adjourned.”
The Council members all disappeared except Jonah. Zoron asked, “What is wrong, Jonah?”
“There was danger of you losing control, Zoron. I could not risk voicing my dissension with the others without jeopardizing your authority. Never before has the Council disagreed with Zoron. Further debate would have been disastrous.”
Zoron was pleased with Jonah. “What should we do Jonah?”
Without a moment’s hesitation, Jonah smiled at Zoron and said, “Send her back uncleansed. Instruct her on what she must do and let her fix the problem. The five must be recovered. She has already proven herself worthy of the task. She has passed the ultimate test, has she not?”
Zoron was very pleased. “Jonah, you and I have been through much together. I appreciate your loyalty and friendship. Of course you are correct. The others simply cannot understand.”
Jonah put his arm around Zoron. “May I assist you in preparing her?”
Zoron looked at Joan, then looked at Jonah. “It’s a lot rougher than we ever thought it would be, isn’t it?” He saw Jonah nod. “I’d surely appreciate your help. Thank you!”
Jonah and Zoron turned to Joan. She was still unable to hear anything. As Zoron was about to enable Joan’s hearing, Jonah simply said, “You’re quite welcome, Zoron.”
